It's High Tide Baby
by Jennie-x
Summary: Janto Angst Song Fic - It's High tide - The Blackout.


**So, I had writers block and decided to do another song challenge fiction thing. This one is full of angst so you've been warn. The song is – _It's high tide baby! - The blackout_**

Ianto sat alone. His body was hunched over in the cold, subconsciously trying to warm itself up. A light jacket wasn't enough for this type of weather, yet he couldn't bring himself to move from the hard bench; he felt as though he was chained to it and there was only one person who had the key to allow him to move; allow him to breath; allow him to love.

It had been hard; life without Jack. But he had done it. He had become his own person, three months of being his own person and being happy, not for anyone else but for himself. And now he felt as though he was stumbling back to his old self. The man who hid behind perfectly tailored suits and sharp whit. No, he refused to fall back to that. He was a different man then, he was cruel and selfish. He felt someone sit next to him, but he refused to look, because one look and everything will fall back into place.

"Is this worth fighting for, Jack?" Ianto asked weakly. His voice was tormented by emotion and the mere bluntness of the question startled Jack.

"I don't know," He sighed truthfully. He turned to look at Ianto, his beautiful Ianto who he had left behind without a thought. He had no idea what they had shared before, only that it meant the world to Ianto yet so little to him. But now, after a year of being tortured, a year of being alone with only his thoughts for comfort. Jack knew it was the other way round now, and he hated the irony of it. "But I do know that you're worth fighting for."

Ianto shook his head, words were too easily to be manipulated. His heart was too easy to be manipulated especially by Jack. No, it wasn't going to be this easy. "Why did you kiss me, Jack?" Ianto turned to look at him, and for the first time that day Jack could see the hurt in his eyes, the hurt that he had caused.

"Because I needed to." Ianto just shook his head and Jack knew it was the wrong answer. It was a selfish answer. "I was gone for so long, there was blackness and I was scared that I was never going to wake up, scared I was never going to touch..."

"You kissed me because you just wanted to feel something, because you were scared that you were never going to fucking screw someone ever again?" Ianto laughed in disbelief. "That's you all over, Jack. You had no idea what that kiss did to me, Jack."

"Then tell me." It was a plea, and it was clear in his voice.

"That kiss to me, was more than a kiss. I felt complete, when before I felt empty. I thought you were fucking dead. I thought I would never see you again, and then you were awake, alive, and you kissed me in front of everyone. Putting what ever it was we had out in the open, clearing up all the secrets that we shared. They all knew from that one kiss, all thought we were something. But then you just fucking left. You left them thinking I was broken hearted because that kiss told them that I was something more than a part time shag. But Owen was right wasn't he. That's all I ever was to you."

"Yeah, he was right." Jack said bluntly. "But you're not any more."

"Nothing has changed for you to think any more highly of me, Jack."

"I have." Jack sighed. "I came back for you. Yes for the team, but you were the one on my mind most. You have to believe that." Ianto didn't want to listen. But he had no choice, his ears were only listening to Jack, the sounds of waves crashing against the bay had faded out, everything else had faded out. Jack was the only thing in his life at that moment; the only thing in his world.

"I don't what to do any more." Ianto sighed. He felt defeated, he wanted to give up. Give up on Jack, give up on Torchwood. Thoughts of a normal life crashed in his mind, but he shook them away. Normal for him had never been an option.

"Tell me what you want, Yan. If you want me, you've got me."

"I don't want you, Jack. Right now it feels as though you're not worth fighting for." His words were glass cutting and scratching at his heart. "I've been biting my tongue for too long now, Jack. I need to say this."

"Then say it. I'll listen."

"I'm in love with you." He stated with little hesitation. "But I don't want to be. You picked up the pieces, you were there when I felt alone and I thought you'd always be there. But you left. This summer has been the worst summer of my life Jack. I watched as everyone slowly accepted that you were gone and I couldn't, but I had to and I did. And I was happy." Jack gulped. "I thought with you gone I could be my own person again, but you're back and I'm not my own person any more. I'm yours."

"I'm sorry, for this summer. I really am." Jack took Ianto's reluctant hand in his grasp and squeezed it tightly. "I can't make up for my past, Yan. But I can promise you a future..."

"But you can't."

"Then I can try!"

"Why?"

"Because you're worth fighting for." Jack insisted. "We'll do it differently. You and me, please. I need you." Ianto didn't say anything, just stared at their hands as they fit together, completing each other.

"I'm sorry, Jack." Ianto sighed, he pulled his fingers from Jack and stood up. "This is going to hurt me far more than it hurts you. But I have to say goodbye."

"No," Jack cried. "Don't you dare..."

"I have to Jack. Being my own person is far more important than being yours." He said loudly, trying to convey his confidence that was slowly dripping from him. "I want to be able to give myself one hundred percent to you, Jack don't you get it?"

"Then don't say goodbye, please."

"I have to. It's the only way. But I'll be back. One day when I can stand on my own two feet, and be someone that you wouldn't want to leave." Jack wanted to say something to change Ianto's mind, but if he was anything it was stubborn.

"I'll die and wait for you, Jones, Ianto Jones."

"And I'll come back for you, like you did for me..." Ianto walked away, and he didn't look back. If he looked back he knew he would never be able to walk away.

_**Is this worth fighting for  
You're worth fighting for  
As I face the crowd and take a bow  
This time its up to you  
Time is up for me  
Cause I've been biting my tongue for far too long  
I know that I'm too blame  
Burst into flames (you're beautiful)  
You're worth fighting for  
I'm worth fighting for (don't say goodbye)  
You're worth fighting for**_

_**I'll never forget you  
This is my only choice  
You'll never forgive me  
I'd die and wait for you**_


End file.
